Tuning Into Ourselves Is An Art To Be Mastered
Written by Belinda Ong
As I moved through my 20s, graduating from university, I found myself feeling more lost than before.
I thought I was supposed to have it all together by now.
As someone who is self-driven and always knows what she wants, the sudden feeling of not really knowing my own direction scared me. A lot.
Until I chanced upon a workshop by Bold At Work, ‘’Designing Good Work in Uncertain Times’’.
I was greeted by 2 facilitators, Kat and Xun Hao.
During the workshop, the facilitators helped us to explore the thoughts, questions, and emotions we hold towards our work and to focus on what truly matters to us.
I was instructed to draw what ‘’Good Work’’ means to me on a blank piece of paper. Although I love expressing myself through art, this task wasn’t easy. My mind went blank when I received the A4 white paper.
I told myself, yeah, I will just draw what comes to my mind!
As I picked up a blue colour pencil that caught my eye, I began doodling a flower. I picked up another colour pencil and doodled some shapes around it. Picked up another colour marker and doodled more shapes, lines, dots, and more flowers.
I drew some doodles and wrote 3 main key phrases - ‘’Fun’’, ‘’Doing something I like’’, ‘’VARIETY’’.
With this finished drawing, I actually still didn’t know what I really wanted, other than those keywords that I had written down. It felt like it was not enough for me.
We were then tasked to exchange our drawings with another person to discuss them. When I was looking at another participant’s drawing, I realised how different her drawing was from mine. Hers was systematic and orderly, like a business plan. Whereas mine was just, abstract. It didn't feel business-y to me, ironic, as someone who graduated with a Business degree.(An afterthought: actually, not all roles in business have to be systematic and orderly anyway.)
A thought dawned on me - Hmm, maybe instead of focusing on what I have studied or the set path for me, why don’t I focus on on what I have come up with at this very moment? What do I want, now?
Our preferences, choices, and priorities change as we experience more of what life has for us. The 20-year-old me who had chosen the Business path is different from the current 25-year-old me who has just graduated from university.
Like what Katrina said in our workshop, uncertainty has always been there. Perhaps the difference is in how we anchor ourselves in what matters the most to us right now. That’s enough.
Looking back, it’s not that I always knew what I wanted.
There were days when I didn’t know exactly what I wanted.
The difference was in my response.
To only listen to myself, focus on my next step, and be bold enough to give it a try.
When that fearful voice in me asks myself ‘’Why haven’t I figured out what I want by now???!?’’, my wise voice will answer ‘’Gurl, you don’t have to figure it out by now. You don’t have to follow anybody’s timeline except for yours’’.
Give ourselves some breathing space and grace. We will be fine as long as we tune into our gut. :)
Designing Good Work in Uncertain Times is a bold, reflective career-design workshop for youths navigating uncertainty, pressure, and big work decisions, co-organised by National Youth Council and Bold At Work, and powered by DISCOVER On My Way.
